Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Workin? On my fitness!

I recently started going to a personal trainer in downtown Manhattan at this new fitness club called Work. So far I've been about 4 times and I've learned quite a few valuable life lessons from my trainer friend - let's call him "G".

G's Rules to Live By (and my snarky comments below):

1. No eating anything after 7pm
- Not so realistic in my line of work, when I typically leave the office around 7

2. To lose weight, workouts won't really help you. You have to 'deprive yourself'.
- Which I translated to: start developing an eating disorder.

3. Oatmeal for breakfast and tuna salad for lunch everyday
- Eating that healthy sounds boring and very monotonous
. Plus no sweets?

4. You can only eat grapefruit (or any other fruit that has squeezable juice), absolutely never allowed to eat a fatty fruit like bananas
- F U. I like bananas, they are full of potassium and goodness.

5. One must go to the gym only in the morning time, otherwise it's a waste to workout at night because you are just burning off the day's food intake
- I hate the mornings, full stop. Plus I have only 3 channels on my TV so I have to go to the gym at night to watch something other than C-SPAN.

6. Go tanning (he's especially insistent on me lying face down?)
- Too bad skin cancer runs in my family and I'm not too keen on melanoma.

7. Have your nails polished & pretty
- He's seriously obsessed with my nails and likes to comment on them each time he sees me.

8. Fight like a boy in the ring
- I actually like this rule. Boxing is fun :)

9. Don't workout the same muscles two days in a row
- I guess this makes sense but I really just want to get toned arms and flat abs damnit!

Given that these individual sessions are quite costly, plus I think G is bordering on being mentally abusive it's probably a good idea for me to just go back to walking on the treadmill and watching my favorite reality shows at night.

Who's with me??


Kevin said...

i'm with you. you can find a better trainer that's less crazy (and nail-obsessed) if you really want one. or you can just do your own thing and be fine. like me. i have a strict "always-eat-after-8-and-drink-a-few-beers-while-you're-at-it" diet, and it's working very well recently.

Me said...

Haha, Kevin I'd love to be on your diet although sadly I would be turned into AA for boozin alone every night and probably end up close to 400lbs. You forgot to mention you don't like eating too...

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I've been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

Thumbs up, and keep it going!


Danielle said...

ha. i like bananas too. i almost agree about the polished nails. however, i hardly ever have mine polished.

Anonymous said...

don't worry about the nails or tanning... is he gonna date u?? lol that is very good to boost your self steam and make u keep going though! as a trainer I say that everything listed is fine for a professional athlete but for someone just trying to get tone and well fit I say eat anything you like moderate and often but nothing less than 3-4 hours prior sleeping and have a good diary breakfast! you can keep the other rules they are really good. JR