I recently started going to a personal trainer in downtown Manhattan at this new fitness club called Work. So far I've been about 4 times and I've learned quite a few valuable life lessons from my trainer friend - let's call him "G".
G's Rules to Live By (and my snarky comments below):
1. No eating anything after 7pm
- Not so realistic in my line of work, when I typically leave the office around 7
2. To lose weight, workouts won't really help you. You have to 'deprive yourself'.
- Which I translated to: start developing an eating disorder.
3. Oatmeal for breakfast and tuna salad for lunch everyday
- Eating that healthy sounds boring and very monotonous. Plus no sweets?
4. You can only eat grapefruit (or any other fruit that has squeezable juice), absolutely never allowed to eat a fatty fruit like bananas
- F U. I like bananas, they are full of potassium and goodness.
5. One must go to the gym only in the morning time, otherwise it's a waste to workout at night because you are just burning off the day's food intake
- I hate the mornings, full stop. Plus I have only 3 channels on my TV so I have to go to the gym at night to watch something other than C-SPAN.
6. Go tanning (he's especially insistent on me lying face down?)
- Too bad skin cancer runs in my family and I'm not too keen on melanoma.
7. Have your nails polished & pretty
- He's seriously obsessed with my nails and likes to comment on them each time he sees me.
8. Fight like a boy in the ring
- I actually like this rule. Boxing is fun :)
9. Don't workout the same muscles two days in a row
- I guess this makes sense but I really just want to get toned arms and flat abs damnit!
Given that these individual sessions are quite costly, plus I think G is bordering on being mentally abusive it's probably a good idea for me to just go back to walking on the treadmill and watching my favorite reality shows at night.
Who's with me??
4 comments:
i'm with you. you can find a better trainer that's less crazy (and nail-obsessed) if you really want one. or you can just do your own thing and be fine. like me. i have a strict "always-eat-after-8-and-drink-a-few-beers-while-you're-at-it" diet, and it's working very well recently.
Haha, Kevin I'd love to be on your diet although sadly I would be turned into AA for boozin alone every night and probably end up close to 400lbs. You forgot to mention you don't like eating too...
ha. i like bananas too. i almost agree about the polished nails. however, i hardly ever have mine polished.
don't worry about the nails or tanning... is he gonna date u?? lol that is very good to boost your self steam and make u keep going though! as a trainer I say that everything listed is fine for a professional athlete but for someone just trying to get tone and well fit I say eat anything you like moderate and often but nothing less than 3-4 hours prior sleeping and have a good diary breakfast! you can keep the other rules they are really good. JR
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